Tales of Whoa! From The House Of The Serpent

So this was it, the House of the Serpent... one door and all of the open arched windows were blazing with lights and from them came the sounds of drunken merry making.

In my neighborhood we'd call it getting bombed, but in this world...the term Drunken Merry Making seems more appropriate.

Whatever, I was tired dirty and angry and I had a bunch of questions.

I wanted in.

Well, of course I tried, and of course the door was locked and there was no handle, no bell and I doubted if anyone could hear me yell because of all the noise.

Oh right...the key!

I pulled it out of the bag and looked from the lock to the key in my hand a few times. The lock was a serpent's head and you know I just didn't want to give that greedy sly thing my key. It was just going to eat it, I knew it.

Then my sorry self and those things in my hair would be stuck out here forever. A bug crawled across my face and up near my ear...I had the little ones to think about now.

I tried one more time. I kicked the door hard and yelled, " Open the f&*^! Door! "

Then I heard the sound, the very clear sound of someone coming up behind me and I looked down to my left and saw a black boot and the edge of a black robe. " Have a nice walk? " I asked the Ghoul Rider...well, Ex - Rider because I stole it's horse from outside of Duwamish.

It tried to grab me and I turned around, got it by its hood and pulled it close to my face,

" What the Hell is it with all the hair pulling dude? " Then I yanked back and threw it head first into the door.

It got back up and as it did I jammed the Iron Key it into the soft tissue under it's chin and yanked it back out again. The Ghoul grabbed its face and looked up and was gone.

I looked at the key in my hand, amazed and genuinely impressed. " Damn, it works! "

The door slid open and I could not only hear but also see the gathering in blazing Technicolor.

" Okay, where is she? " I asked as I tramped in but I didn't wait for an answer.

Someone called out " Who? "

" Heather! Where the heck is she? "

" Upstairs in her room. Contemplating..." said a cultured and dignified sounding voice.

I rolled my eyes so far up into the back of my head they almost got stuck there. " Sure. " I said and took the marble steps two at a time. When I got to the top I asked a woman in a purple dress where Heather was and with a sweet little smile she pointed to a set of double doors.

I didn't knock.

Oh, what a nice room Heather! A bed, a fire the sounds of splashing...from an indoor fountain? Fancy rugs on the floor and what....tapestries? Oh PLEASE!

" Anita Dear! You made it! " Heather said. Her breath, laced with distinct odor of apple and cloves and dark heavy wine wrapped itself around me before her arms even got close.

" I sure did! Thanks for the invite And Look I had SO MUCH FUN I brought a few friends with me! " I lowered my head flung my hair forward and shook it with my hands.

" What are those...and look at your face! "

" Yeah! And my ass! You should see that, not only did some dead guy try to kick it it's now full of splinters and pine needles. What a trip. Gosh, I hope I don't have any more fun or I might just drop dead from all the excitement and we wouldn't want
THAT would we now? "

" You need a bath and some food..." she began but the train had left the station and Heather stood there waiting for another one.

" Uh- huh " I looked around her room and there on the table next to the fire was a tall crystal decanter circled by delicate wine goblets. I walked over to the table and grabbed the decanter and made for the door.

" That could be anything " Heather said, very successfully impersonating a sober person " that could have anything in it. "

I went back and got into her face, " and your point is? "

So with as much dignity as a bad smelling woman with dirty clothes and a broken nose, black eyes and cooties could muster I swept from her room.

" I shall see you in the morning Madam " I said trying very hard to sound snooty and dignified.

I heard a thump and called back into the room without turning around, " fine, I'll see you at dinner. "