Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Mining Memory

I went to the dig tree and found myself in the Alluvial Mine - mining Memory. I thought I would share something that I wrote earlier this year - that I have yet to share.

For Alex
(17 February 2005)

I can’t forget the weeks
That should have been months.
The pain that came too soon.

I can’t forget the sickness in the morning
That sometimes lasted all day.
The shock of hearing you were there.
I thought you my miracle child.

I can’t forget the first ultrasound
My jellybean with a heartbeat.
I watched you grow in black and white.

I can’t forget the tightened skin
Stretched and taut.
Your kicks at first like butterfly flutters.
Growing stronger gathering strength.

I can’t forget the day they told us
‘It’s a Boy!’
And then telling Troy.

I can’t forget being full of hope
That somehow
Things would go our way.

I can’t forget
The hospital appointment
That became a ten day stay.

I can’t forget the fear I felt
The prayers I prayed
The boredom and the tears.

I can’t forget the day
The dream was shattered
Contractions getting stronger.

I can’t forget hearing the news
That it was inevitable
No intervention would be offered.


I can’t forget the pain
In my breaking heart
Knowing you would be left to die.

I can’t forget
Seeing you for the first time
Holding you in my arms and
Realising that our hopes and dreams
Were shattered.

I can’t forget you
My angel child
Taken before your time.

© Megan Warren 10/3/2005

5 Comments:

At 7:29 PM, Blogger Karen said...

That was a truly personal and moving story, megan. Thank you for sharing it. Creative expression can help the grieving process along.

 
At 3:57 AM, Blogger Leonie Bryant said...

Dearest Megan,
Your dear little Alex was with you for such a short time, and your poem so powerfully expressed your journey with him, or was it a her, I'm not sure.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love
Leonie

 
At 4:12 AM, Blogger Heather Blakey said...

Dear Megan
I would give you a cup of pure water from the waters of Lethe if I thought it would really ease the pain. But Mnemosynes water, of memory is more palliative in the end.
love Heather

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Believer said...

Dear Megan,

Thank you for sharing your very heart with us. My faith tells me love never dies and you will meet again one day. God bless you and Alex.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger @lex Chua said...

Dear Megan,
I am trying to catch up on this journey and your heart caught my attention... I thought I lost everything when my hard disk crashed with the photos of the best period of my life and my book in process. Now everything pales in comparison with what you have gone through. I share my love with you Megan.

 

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