Saturday, August 06, 2005

The Other Side



I haven't come here to forgive the things others have done to me.

I've come here to forgive myself.

I walked through the ruined gates and murky waters and passed the ruined tombstones and and when I walk back out I'm going to leave behind every injury I've ever done to myself.

I need to lay it all to rest and move ahead.

So I'm going to forgive myself for all of those awful things I told myself over the years: I was stupid, ugly, worthless, dirty, a failure and a disgrace. Words and deeds more hateful and harmful then anything inflicted upon me by my worst enemy.

It's important that I forgive myself for making a life a chore, a task a sentence instead of the gift of adventure it was intended to be.

I've come here to forgive myself ... once upon a time my worst enemy.

I hope she will become my friend.

4 Comments:

At 7:48 AM, Blogger Karen said...

It's so fascinating, and somewhat sad, how many of us needed to forgive ourselves, isn't it? I did the same. The images you post are simply gorgeous and haunting, Anita, and I can tell that you are now immersed in life's grand adventure!

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger Anita Marie Moscoso said...

No kidding, if you caught someone treating a small child or animal they way we treat ourselves we'd have the law on SOMEONE ... you'd never stand for it.

as to the pic...
That's actually from a cemetery called Evergreen in Everett Washington.

It's a pretty weird looking place under normal circumstances. That flooding isn't a pond...it's overflow from the hills in the cemetery itself. Whenever it rains or the snow melts this is what happens.

Icky.

Anita Marie

 
At 4:51 AM, Blogger Heather Blakey said...

I shed some tears when I read this Anita Marie. This is very potent.

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger Leonie Bryant said...

I can so relate to this Anita Marie - thanks for writing this powerful piece.

 

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